Reminiscence

After so many years, she passed his house again the day before yesterday. In front of his house stuck a paper, sold for 150 million rupiahs, call (0335) XXXXXX written on it. How devastated his life after that time she thought. The infidelity of his father caused so many troubles in his life; the divorce of his parents, the financial condition that was formerly all right slowly but surely became worse, there may be many other worse things happened in his life that she does not know since she was an outsider of his life. She knew about him much less than everybody ever thought.

She counted back then. It had been 9 years ago when she fell in love with him. Could it be mentioned as love? Or may it be just admiration? She never knew, never ever knew. Memory by memory of him flashed back in her mind right after she passed his house. She never knew that she still remembered the memories they ever had that clear, feeling like they just happened yesterday. The moments of making paper planes for his sister and some child, riding bikes together around the village, sitting together in the bench front of his house, handing him milk which was bought by his mom, and some other memories which she formerly tried hard to forget that now appeared again in her mind out of the blue.

Her foolishness which made all of these ended. Yes, exactly her own foolishness. She did not know what she was thinking at time. “I’m still 12 years old, so what? ”, she tried to calm down herself, yet she cannot forget the silly thing she had done that caused her every single beautiful occasion had to end and forget. What was this foolishness? Yup, she sent him a letter. Not a love letter as you might think, a friendship letter she preferred to call it, a stupid letter written by a 12-year-old little girl. This very letter was never replied. And at the times they met again, he became so ignorant, he never smiled to her again as he always did when she passed his house, he just became so annoying. She thought that it may be because of the letter she sent. Silly, is it not? Or the word pathetic will be more appropriate.

This happening made her try to forget him, forget the love she had for him yet it turned out to be really hard. It was not as easy as tearing apart a paper plane they once made. Even though she met so many other boys at her further schools, she could not forget him completely. Once in a while, she still remembered the memories she ever had with him. This and that boy could not make her forget him. It was hard, it really was.

Years passed, she never talked or even met him ever since. They took apart (intentionally). Until one day, a situation forced them to meet. Whatsoever happened, there must be one day they would meet, she once thought that but never realized that that would eventually happen. In one evening, he visited her house to see her sister who just gave birth. He came there with his mother and sister. When he came in and met her, he was still ignorant. He said nothing, not even greeted her. He walked into the house and just. The most important point happened when he left. He did it due he would look impolite if he were not doing so. Yep, lastly he greeted her. Just a “hi” and it had made all the difference.

She got hurt so bad. She thought she should have been really glad with that for after ages he finally greeted her again. It may be a good sign for them to reunite again. However, what happened was really appalling, she got very angry. Her heart did not seem cooperative at the moment she mulled but it turned out to be “no” in the end. She was really furious and her indescribable anger to him seemed last forever.

By this, she could forget him completely at last, “How lucky”, she said to herself. She finally could accept that they are not destined to be together. She began to think that there must be someone better out there is awaiting her. Furthermore, after some times she could open her heart to someone else. Someone who could melt her frozen heart.